More Than an Old House

The House in its original state.

My brother bought an older farm house in the early 1980s, a couple of years after getting married.  It was half a mile from where we grew up.  The house was cold and drafty, and needed a young couple to make it into a warm home.

The first job I recall on the house was an addition around 1990 that added a new kitchen and expanded the living room.  I was just starting out in construction, and followed the lead of an older, life-long carpenter for the bulk of the work. 

 In the subsequent years, other projects were completed, one at a time.  There was a window between two others on the second floor on the front of the house.  Bud didn't like the looks of it, so we covered it over while we were installing replacement windows throughout the rest of the house.  After that project, my younger brother Dean and I added a metal roof.  Later we replaced the floor of the front porch and added some new posts.

The Addition.

Then came a garage remodel.  There was an ugly as sin structure in the back yard that tried to pass as a garage.  We built a new roof over the entire thing, added another eight feet to the front, and covered most of it with metal siding.  It was a vast improvement.  A little shed was added on one end for the mowers.

The Ugly as Sin Poor Excuse for a Garage (in the back).

The day came when Bud and Aleisa decided to give the exterior of the house a facelift, and we installed new vinyl siding after removing the old aluminum.  While we were at it, we uncovered that window we had covered over, because Bud said they liked the looks of it after all.

The laundry room was also in need of a facelift.  It got new paneling, vinyl, and nice colonial colors.  The carpet that was installed when the addition was built became worn and was hard to keep clean.  They picked out some flooring, tore out the carpet, and I installed the new laminate.

New Garage in back, with grandson hamming it up.

At one point, about a year ago, Aleisa brought up some project they were discussing - perhaps it was a bath remodel.  I jokingly said "I think we should just bulldoze the old house down and start fresh.  It would be easier."

It was a dumb comment.   It implied that I was tired of working on the old farm house, which I wasn't.  But worse than that, it missed the whole point of what has been going on for the past 22 years.

Let's just say that 22 years ago, Bud and Aleisa had bought a brand new house, the exact house they wanted... with no further work necessary.  For the next 22 years, there would have been no remodeling.  There would have been no discussions about the projects, no solving of the world's problems with Aleisa as I worked, no coffee breaks and their accompanying conversation, and no satisfaction once the task was finished.  We would have missed all that stuff.  And it wasn't like that time would have been made up in casual visits.  We live 30 minutes apart, just far enough that it's out of the way to just drop in on each other.

It's yet another example of my losing sight of what is important when it comes to work.  My brother and sister-in-law bought an old house.  And I have had the privilege helping them to transform it into something more functional which they take pleasure in.  But of greater importance, I have had the privilege of sharing in their lives and of being in their presence.  They are, after all, my brother and sister.  It's what family is all about.  And not only that, it's what working, in general, is all about.

County Band

Well, this is a little unconventional, but I'm going to re-direct you to the Sussex Central High School Marching Band blog I've been working on.  There are two entries of interest.

Here's an entry concerning Sarah:  Junior County Band

And here's an entry concerning Katherine:  Senior County Band

The Thought that Counts

In response to a previous post (see "Race into the New Year"), my sister-in-law Marla sent me this gift for my birthday.

'69 Z/28 Model

This was to address the possible mid-life crisis issue I had mentioned in that post.  I believe the crisis has been averted.

Michael C. Ferguson Scholarship

Our Sarah just got some good news.  She received a $1,000 Ferguson Scholarship to be used towards her college education.  The awards are based on DCAS scores from last year (when Sarah was in the eighth grade). The following is straight out of the Sussex Central High School Web Site:

Fourteen Indian River School District students were awarded Ferguson Scholarships from the State of Delaware for exemplary performance on the 2012 Delaware Comprehensive Assessment System (DCAS).

Sixteen scholarships totaling $16,000 were awarded to district students who earned high scores on the reading and math portions of the DCAS. Each scholarship is worth $1,000 and can be used once the student begins post-secondary education.

Statewide, 299 scholarships were awarded to 279 students. There were 20 students who earned multiple scholarships.

The scholarship program is named in memory of Michael C. Ferguson, former Deputy Superintendent and Acting Superintendent of the Department of Public Instruction and former state budget director.

Sarah earned her scholarship for her performance on the math portion of the test.  The funny thing is, Sarah says she really doesn't like math that much.

Why We Like Facebook

I have available to me at least three mediums by which to write now, the latest being Facebook.  I've only been on Facebook for a few weeks.  But I'll say right now, I get it.  I get why Facebook is so popular, at least for people like me.

I use writing like I use conversation, but enjoy being able to craft thoughts into words much more slowly and deliberately than I can in conversation.  But even though something is written, it doesn't mean it is designed to be a one sided conversation.  Just like a verbal conversation, once in a while it's nice for someone to say "That's interesting"  (even if it isn't).  When you have a conversation with someone, that person sends you all kinds of clues as to whether you are making a connection.  When you write you don't often have that privilege.  Whether a connection has been made remains unknown.

Which leads to one medium I use to write.  This particular medium allows me to write on topics that may take some time to develop.  The words are chosen carefully to communicate some point that seems important.  But with this medium, there is no conversation.  There is simply me talking.  The other side is silent.  I have no idea if I'm yelling into the wind or not.  But it is the nature of this medium, and I live with it.

The second medium I use is blogging.  I get more feedback here, mostly from two individuals.  My mother and my wife's aunt tell me how much they enjoy it.  Of course, my mother doesn't have an unbiased bone in her body.  But like the first medium, the blogging goes largely unnoticed, making no great impact on anybody, and any connections remaining a great mystery.

Now is when I should start talking about how creative people do what they do because it's what they do.  There's no need for an audience, really, because the fulfillment comes in the doing of it.  Well, in the words of my son's baseball coach, that's a bunch of horse crap.

I'm sure there people who create in the absence of any feedback.  If you are one, then good for you.  Personally, I enjoy a little positive reinforcement once in a while, from someone other than my own mother. 

Of course, the absence of positive reinforcement in my case could actually mean that my writing doesn't deserve any reinforcement.  Maybe it doesn't actually add anything in the big scheme of things.  Well, that's a bunch of horse crap too.

I'm not alone in this sentiment.  It is a universal desire, I'm quite sure of it, with the exception of a curmudgeon uncle I know, who would probably say he doesn't need any god blessed positive reinforcement, because he already knows he's right, and doesn't really care if he isn't.  This is what I love about him.

And this, finally, leads us to Facebook.  Facebook has figured out that people love positive reinforcement and knowing they have connected with others, and has made it exceptionally easy to do.  In about a second, you can hit a "like" button and say to your friend "I like what you just posted."  It may be a small thing, but it is not insignificant to have your post "liked".  And if the friend feels really motivated, they may even comment on your post.  And then other people can like that post, and on and on.  Before you know it, everyone is happy and feeling connected.

So, since being on Facebook and experiencing this first hand, I will make Facebook observation #2:  We like Facebook because we all enjoy hearing "Hey, what you just said....I appreciate it... thanks."  And that's a good thing.

Being Fully Present

In an article by Gillian Marchenko in the magazine Thriving Family, Gillian talks about caring for her two daughters who have Down Syndrome.  While teaching one of them to cut circles out of Play-Doh, she considers the importance of this simple activity while at the same time pondering on the immensity of her task as a parent and the frustrations it presents.

Then she says that God reminded her to "Just concentrate on what you're doing right now."  She continues with the work with her daughter, and concludes "This is my task at hand, to spend time with Polly...To create enough space in my thoughts to be fully present and make contact with her heart."

Yea, that's exactly what I want to do with those around me.  Gillian had put words to a beautiful truth, one which can be applied almost daily.  But in addition to touching my heart, I thought to myself "Now that's how I want to write.  If I could pen a line like that occasionally, I'd be content."  Gillian had captured an idea that is an aspiration for most of us - to touch the hearts of those we encounter in our day to day existence.

And then the thought occurred to me that Gillian didn't create this line out of nothing.  It came out of her experience with her child.  She was just plugging along in a difficult situation in her life.  If not for that situation, her page would have remained blank.

I'm one who would like to avoid difficult and trying situations, as most of us do.  But apparently, in order to have good material from which to write, I must continue to get up every day, go to work, and walk through all kinds of situations.  I'll take it, but I'll have to be reminded over and over that it's all good.

Now is the Time

I once heard that when you experience something for the first time, your brain is aware of this fact, and therefore records a lot of information about the event.  For every subsequent event, your brain records less and less information, because it recognizes it has already recorded similar information, and the additional information is unnecessary.

This holds true for individual events, but I think it holds true for our youth in general.  We were experiencing life itself for the first time, and everything is a new experience, so there is a lot of hard drive space in our brains allocated to our youth. Not only that, but just as with a hard drive, this is the space our computer accesses first.

This explains a whole host of things, including why our youth is so precious to us.  It isn't just that life was simpler and without the concerns we have as adults.  It's that our minds were blank slates, and they were filled with new experiences which we can recall because they were recorded in detail.  Just the fact that those memories were recorded in such detail makes them precious, or in the case of some, a curse to be dealt with their whole lives.

A classic example of this is music.  I think this is the reason we a prone to get hooked on whatever type of music we listened to in our youth.  It is that music which has been recorded with the most intricacy in our minds.  Not only that, but it was recorded along with the other "firsts" in our lives.  Ask yourself this question.... isn't much of your most favorite and memorable music from your adolescence?  It is because you were experiencing not only the music for the first time, but also hormones for the first time.

So it is with this in mind that we watch our own children grow up.  Their minds are recording information at a furious rate.  As parents, we have a lot of influence on what that information is going to be.  My wife and I have children from the ages of 9 to 17.  Now is the time to keep this in mind.

Race into the New Year

Yesterday I ran the Race into the New Year 5k in Rehoboth Beach.  One of the few races I know of that goes right down the Rehoboth board walk.  Finished 35th out of 203 runners, 5th out of 9th in my age group. 


I am apparently in a tough age group (50-54).  Four out of nine are in the top 12% of the field?  What's that all about?  I have a theory... perhaps men at my age are all going through mid-life crises, and are pouring themselves into running to redeem themselves.

So the question, of course, is "Am I one of those men?"  Perhaps.  But why can't I be a man who is having a mid-life crisis and buys a new sports car?  I want a '69 Z-28, by the way.