The Adventures of HandyMan, Chapters 1 & 2

The following script will appear uninteresting to a large majority of the human race.  If you find yourself to be one of those people, just skip the reading of it, and any future postings titled "The Adventures of HandyMan", as you will never be able to recover the few minutes of your life you wasted.  Of course, you won't know that until you start, so you will have to take your chances.

If you DO chose to read it, then it will help to know that it is a conversation, with every line changing speakers, for the most part.  The narrator occasionally speaks to add critical information.

Chapter 1 
The Birth of a Superhero

It started, innocently enough, with some information from my customer/friend telling me that a painter would be at her house working during the next week (This is a house which formerly belonged to her parents).  She was informing me in case I wanted to stop by and check the progress while I was in the area.

ME:  “Have I been promoted to head handyman/overseer of your mom’s house?  I am really moving up in the world.”

“Well, you have always been number one with me in those ranks, far exceeding any others.”

“I just wish I had a cool, unforgettable name, like “Mr. Tweedle.””  (Mr. Tweedle is the actual name of an older and very competent man who did work at the house.)

“How about BATMAN? (my initials are B.A.T.) That’s COOL.  That new truck of yours should have been black.”

“You may be on to something.  I sort of have a Batman – save the world and correct injustice - mentality, cleverly hidden in the persona of a handyman.  He also has a dark side, and tends to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.  You are brilliant.”

Then a realization struck.  “Oh my goodness.  I’m a superhero, and didn’t know it.”

Chapter 2

Superhero Gets a New Name, and The Birth of a Sidekick

I felt the need to share this new information with another friend, who I knew would appreciate hearing about my new realization.  “I just had an epiphany.  With my initials, my dark side, my tendency to carry the world on my shoulders and fight injustice… I’m a superhero, and didn’t know it.  AND I sort of look like Christian Bale.”

“I can't say I see the resemblance.”  This comment was missing the point.

“I don’t care about superficial stuff like looks.  What about my superhero qualities?”

“Well, I haven’t seen you fly but I know you can make a mean ice cream pie.”

“You are not encouraging AT ALL.  You are not on your game today.  I want to hear how I can indeed save the world.”

“I have no doubt you can save the world and look like Christian Bale while you are doing it.  How’s that?”

“Fine, except I had to drag it out of you.  You know the saying “With great power comes great responsibility?”  I’m going to need some help in the responsibility department.  Are you up to it?”

“Can I have a cape and mask too?”

“You are really hung up on appearances.  You may need some remedial training before coming onto the superhero team.”

“Where’s the attitude of a superhero without a cape and mask?”

“You’re HOPELESS.  Superhero work is about the heart and inward attitude.  Do I have to splain EVERYTHING?”

“Guess that’s why I am still only a sidekick.”

“You will learn, grasshopper.”

“Maybe.”

“This is why it is so detrimental for our families to gather so infrequently, not just to us, but to the world."

After some pondering on my part...  "I think I need a fresh name as a superhero.  Batman has been taken.  I'm thinking "HandyMan"".   Has a nice ring, doesn't it? “

“I thought you hated being called a handyman.”

“This is a different context altogether.  I may like it now since it denotes
my superhero status.”

And thus was born HandyMan and his yet to be named sidekick, dark fighters of injustice with attitudes, hidden in the unassuming personas of an ordinary jack of all trades and an occupational therapist.  The adventure begins.

Addendum

The History of Handymen
(Which is not to imply that I am one.)

Yet to be named Sidekick did in fact state the truth in the comment "I thought you hated being called a handyman".  The reasons for this are common knowledge to most people.  This quote is taken directly from Wikipedia:  "Generally the job of paid handyman is low status, a semi-skilled labor job. It's a less prestigious occupation than a specialist such as a plumber, electrician, or carpenter. "

However, in the same paragraph from which the above quote was taken, Wikipedia also states "Handyman tools sometimes become useful in different places: for example, when a proper neurological drill was not available, an Australian doctor used a handyman's drill in 2009 to open a hole in the head of a 13-year old boy to relieve pressure after a brain injury; the boy's life was saved."  This is proof that handymen are more important than commonly thought, and that I was not, in fact, the first handyman superhero.