The Best Valentines Gift EVER

Text messaging suits me perfectly.  I take pleasure in the short, to the point conversations, which can be ended at any moment by either party.  And I enjoy them in the midst of a work day when I am normally working alone.  One day, while working on our shed at home, I took a picture and sent it to a friend of mine with the caption “Our shed taking shape.” This is the shed we had been intending to build for a long 9 years.

I did not hear from my friend that day, so I sent him another text the following day.  “Did you get the picture of my shed?  No Comment?  This is important artist stuff.”  The artist comment referred to a story I had written about the circumstances involving the beginnings of this particular shed, with which Joe was familiar.

The shed is handsome, resembling our Cape Cod style house in miniature.  He responded “Now is this a shed or your new studio?”

Joe must have had a burst of inspiration about the shed’s use.  I responded “Never thought about a studio.  Awesome idea.  Can you go to bat for me with my wife?"

No response… So I added “You should strike now.  She is sick and her defenses are down.”

Joe responded “This is all you, man”.  Great, a spineless wimp of a friend. 

“I am a brother in need of a man space.  Can’t you feel my pain?”

All I got was an “Amen”.  Joe was not going to come through for me.  I would have to go a different route.  I took another picture of the shed, and wrote my pal Bill “I am building this shed for Tina.  I think it should be my office.  I need a godly friend to convince her.  Can I count on you?

Bill, unlike spineless Joe, came through for me, in an unexpected sort of way.  “I got your back. (But can’t you share it?)”

“Compromise?  What are you, new school?”

Then Bill had his own burst of inspiration.  “Is this her Valentine’s gift?  You are such a romantic.”

Just what I needed, a wise guy.  Hey buster, maybe this was my Valentine’s gift.  Well, I hadn’t intended it that way before, but now that he mentioned it, it was worth considering.  Regardless,  I didn’t appreciate the insinuation about my abilities in the romantic department.  I shot back “You hurt my feelings.”

“What?!  I was complimenting you!  I was only going to take my wife away for the weekend to a nice hotel, dinner and spa.  You are way more creative.”

Hmm.  I like this guy.  He is on a wise train of thought.  I could do without my man space.  May as well pick his brain for some more information.  “Oh, so I don’t need to buy flowers?”

“No way.  And trust me.  Any woman would prefer a shed over chocolate.”  Bill was really on to something. But I may be able to improve on his ideas.

“I think I will throw in fifty year shingles as icing on the cake.”

End of conversation.  What more can a man ask for than friends like this?

Charlie Carney

He didn’t strike you as the son of a school principle.  He was disorganized.  He would bring his homework to school slightly crumpled and messy.  One day he arrived upset that he had dropped his homework in a mud puddle, after which the bus ran over it.  If he had owned a dog, the dog would have eaten his homework, probably daily, and for real. 

He had a great heart, but sort of bumbled around.  He reminds me now of a Charlie Brown type of person, without the abuse by any female peers.  A few times I referred to him as "Charlie Corny" in fun, which I thought was clever at the age of 8, but it was more unkind than clever.

Charlie asked me over one Saturday to spend the day with him at his home.  He was very excited that he had spotted a bald eagle in the area.  I failed to understand the significance of this.  I was under the impression that all those turkey buzzards flying around were actually eagles.  At the time, the eagle population was at an all time low.  They had been declared endangered just two years prior in 1967.

That second grade year, we took one of the most interesting field trips, ever.  We went to the Schmidt Bakery in Salisbury, MD.  At the end of the tour, they gave every one of us our own loaf of Sunbeam Bread.  It was the softest bread I have ever consumed in all the years of my life.  For some reason, Charlie took his loaf completely out of the bag, and then tried to re-insert it.  This presented a problem, but he did manage to stuff it back in, in a disheveled manner.  Typical.

I never saw Charlie again after the second grade.  His father must have taken another job, as Sussex County finally got around to desegregating in 1969, years behind schedule, and our school - John M. Clayton - became part of the Indian River School District.  The next year, our third grade class met in a building that the previous year had been an all-black school.

Since then, the bald eagle has come back, Schmidt Bakery has stopped giving tours, and Charlie Carney, well, I wish I knew what happened to him.  He had a good heart, and probably continued to be the kind of person you would want to have as a friend.

If You Could Read My Mind

Gordon Lightfoot wrote this song in 1969 about the failure of a relationship.   

The line "In a castle dark or fortress strong" was one that always grabbed me. The placement of the adjectives is something you can only do in poetic writing.  Mistakenly, I had always thought he was singing "castle dawn".   Had no idea what a "castle dawn" was, but it conjured an image of a castle looming in an early morning fog - a sorrowful image in my mind - which added to the tone. The mind has a way of hearing what it wants.

The heartbreak Lightfoot experienced is obvious.  Most have experienced some degree of that same pain, which is probably the reason the song was a huge hit.  It is the ability to capture the essence of a common experience and put it to words and music that makes for a great song.  The particulars of this song are probably only known to the author himself.  It isn't important that the listener understand all that.  All we know for certain is that is that he is hurting.  Once in a while, back in the day, it helped to hear someone else say it.

If You Could Read My Mind 
Gordon Lightfoot 

 If you could read my mind, love,
What a tale my thoughts could tell.
Just like an old time movie,
'Bout a ghost from a wishing well.
In a castle dark or a fortress strong,
With chains upon my feet.
You know that ghost is me.
And I will never be set free
As long as I'm a ghost that you can't see. 
                                        
If I could read your mind, love,
What a tale your thoughts could tell.
Just like a paperback novel,
The kind the drugstores sell.
Then you reached the part where the heartaches come,
The hero would be me.
But heroes often fail,
And you won't read that book again
Because the ending's just too hard to take!
                                        
I'd walk away like a movie star
Who gets burned in a three way script.
Enter number two:
A movie queen to play the scene
Of bringing all the good things out in me.
But for now, love, let's be real;
I never thought I could  feel this way
And I've got to say that I just don't get it.
I don't know where we went wrong,
But the feeling's gone
And I just can't get it back. 
                                        
If you could read my mind, love,
What a tale my thoughts could tell.
Just like an old time movie,
'Bout a ghost from a wishing well.
In a castle dark or a fortress strong.
With chains upon my feet.
But stories always end,
And if you read between the lines,
You'd know that I'm just tryin' to understand
The feelin's that you lack.
I never thought I could feel this way
And I've got to say that I just don't get it.
I don't know where we went wrong,
But the feelin's gone
And I just can't get it back!

Wonderful Tonight

When I was in high school and college, I had a habit of picking out songs I labeled as "favorites". While there was a lot of music I appreciated, there were only a handful on this list.  A song becoming a favorite was a peculiar event.  Something would strike me about the song, usually immediately.  These days, songs rarely make it onto any favorites list. It probably has something to do with my memory being filled to capacity, and the fact age has a tendency to level out the highs.

The reasons for this song making it onto the list are numerous. Part of it is Clapton's voice, which sounds great on its own. Part of it is the guitar setting up the song with a tender tone.  Funny how music can do that just in the way it sounds to the ear. But the kicker was probably the theme of having found someone to love... it's hard not to like such a song.

 Wonderful Tonight

by Eric Clapton

 It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."

We go to a party and everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady that's walking around with me.
And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?"
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight."

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you.

It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head,
So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed.
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight."

The Adventures of HandyMan, Chapter 5

HandyMan vs. Unrest and Lack of Freedom

A friend sent a communication to the handy HandyMan handset device.  “If we were in college right now, we would be prepping for finals, and salivating for summer break… at the beach.  How lucky were we?”

“How about no more lucky than summer with our own kids?

As is often the case, these brief comments drove HandyMan into pondering mode.  He added to the conversation:  “I wonder if those college years are just a taste of what is always meant to be.  Of course, the responsibilities are piled on, but is that sense of rest and freedom to continue?”  By "rest and freedom" , HandyMan was referring to the fact that at the end of every school year, a season of refreshing ensues, as the stress of school is gone.  A sense of freedom overwhelms you on the last day of classes.

This, not surprisingly, was an idea so outrageous that the friend had trouble even imagining such a world.  “I honestly don’t know how to hang on to that same level of calm freedom as an adult." 

But HandyMan would not be discouraged from dreaming.  “I suppose it takes a miracle.  I think this is what faith is about.  It would be a miracle to live in that youthful freedom and rest, wouldn’t it?  I want that kind of miracle.”

“Yea, me too.”

And so Handyman and his friend agreed that freedom and rest in the current circumstances, typified by the summers of one’s youth, was a condition of the soul which they both would like to have.  Perhaps unrealistic, but nevertheless, it was a fantastic idea. 

There were things they attempted to do to achieve this – prioritizing, organizing, and trying to keep everyday responsibilities in perspective.  Their efforts were valiant, but they both knew that as adults with families, this was not an easy task.  

Despite his superior organizational skills and determination, HandyMan did not live in that world on a continuous basis.  

The effort to live there would tap the sum total of HandyMan's super powers.  And then, he would still fall short.  Indeed, it would take a miracle of Biblical proportions.  It would take a superhero greater than HandyMan to live such a stupendous life.

I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry

I was very young when I saw the movie "Your Cheatin' Heart”.  It came out in 1964, and depicted the life of Hank Williams Sr.  My parents owned the movie soundtrack.  However, this created a confusion which my young mind could not get straight.  On the album cover, there is a picture of the actor who portrayed Williams in the movie, so I assumed Hank looked like George Hamilton.  The songs on the soundtrack were sung by Hank Williams Jr., who actually did sound much like his father.  So the identity of Hank Williams was a blur for me. 

This is no condemnation of my parents, but in hindsight, a 6 year old kid probably had no business listening to Hank Sr. or Hank Jr. sing “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry”.  It is terribly troubling - maybe the saddest of all sad songs, not so much just in the words, but in the tone.  But it was immensely popular, perhaps because it speaks of one of the most common of all human conditions - loneliness.

In this song, Hank's loneliness is apparently due to being separated from the woman he loves (“…and as I wonder where you are...").  It would seem that men, by design, or if you are a Darwinist, by instinct, seek to quiet loneliness with a mate.  My own years of loneliness were the worse from the day I first began to crave a spouse until the day The Lord gave me one.  Loneliness would come and go, depending on the current status of that quest.

I think The Lord held off on my search for a mate until He was able to teach me a vital lesson.  Contrary to what may seem logical, loneliness is not meant to be satisfied by a spouse. We are not ordinary creatures seeking to satisfy an instinctual craving to propagate our species.  We may find a mate, but that will not necessarily bring an end to our loneliness. 

We were created to have our loneliness satisfied by God Himself.  It was only after I had just about decided I could live alone, and could trust God to make me content in that state, that He brought along my wife.  And she, no, He, dealt a blow to loneliness.

Hank Williams

I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry

(click here to listen)

Hear that lonesome whippoorwill

He sounds too blue to fly

The midnight train is whining low

I'm so lonesome I could cry

I've never seen a night so long

When time goes crawling by

The moon just went behind the clouds

To hide its face and cry

Did you ever see a robin weep

When leaves began to die?

Like me he's lost the will to live

I'm so lonesome I could cry

The silence of a falling star

Lights up a purple sky

And as I wonder where you are

I'm so lonesome I could cry

First appeared in the February, 2012 edition of the Manna. http://readthemanna.org