This past week I found an old friend from the University of Delaware on Facebook. After a friend request, Ron sent me a message, and asked about a mutual friend of ours, Bill. Over the course of about a ½ hour, it occurred to me that a crazy series of events had unfolded since my time at UD.
Bill and I moved up to UD in 1980 and roomed together in Harter Hall. Ron lived on our floor and became a good friend, along with a handful of other guys on that floor. After that year, Bill didn’t return to UD, and took another path. I lost touch with Bill after that. I also lost touch with Ron after we graduated.
Fifteen years later, I got a call from Ron. He was getting a group of UD friends together and asked if I would come. He had already contacted Bill, and thought maybe we would want to ride up to Newark together. You see, Bill was living 12 minutes from us, and I wasn’t aware of that. I called Bill, and off we went to our little reunion with our wives and the one child between us, our one-year-old Katherine.
That reunion changed our lives. Bill and I and our families immediately bonded. As time progressed, Bill and I worked together some, we attended the same church, and our kids grew up together.
All that was good, but as I thought about this recent
conversation with Ron, something occurred to me that I had not really thought
about before. I had learned a valuable
lesson from Bill. It was a life lesson
that I need reminding of frequently, including today.
As I mentioned, Bill didn’t return to UD. By the time we re-connected, he was well into the career path he had been destined for… he was building houses. He was good at it. Bill had started out with one career in mind, and then took a turn… and he didn’t look back. He ended up doing something perfectly suited for his skill set. He did it with excellence, with pride, and with satisfaction.
At the time Bill and I reconnected, I was still struggling with my own turn in career paths. However, I was not at the point where I was doing my then-current work with pride, or with satisfaction. I was still looking back.
Bill was a living example to me that our lives don’t always go as we plan. Sometimes we adjust course, and that new course may actually be the best course all along. Everything about Bill demonstrated for me that he was content in his new course.
The impact of seeing that in Bill as I lived alongside him was powerful. Gradually it wore off on me, and I began to take pride in my work. Gradually I became satisfied with my new path. Gradually I began to realize the new path was the best path after all. As I think about it today, I realize that is still true.
Now, all that happened simply because a mutual friend decided he wanted to get together with some old college buddies. Ron wasn’t planning to change anybody’s life. He wasn’t planning to settle an on-going personal issue in my head. He wasn’t planning on one of Bill’s daughters and one of my daughters becoming best friends. Ron wasn’t planning any of that.
Sometimes things happen that take a lifetime to understand and see the significance. Just by chance I went to UD, I roomed with Bill, we met Ron, Ron called us for a reunion. Now, 44 years later, the significance of all that dawns on me. I couldn’t see it at the moment, but I can clearly see it now.
